I recently saw the movie The Lady in the Van. In the movie, the main character breaks himself into two parts: the one who writes and the one who lives. The two parts are in constant argument with one another. The writer wants the “liver” to live in a way that would make a good story (and to notice stories around him to tell). But sometimes, the one who lives just wants to live. It is a strange concept for a character, but this is how I feel a lot of the time.
I hoped that I would actually document all of my London experiences. And I did, for a little while. But, as usual, I stopped. I got too busy. Well, sort of. I really just didn’t feel like doing it. While I absolutely love writing, and wish I would do more of it, sometimes I leave my stories in my head (because yes, I am narcissistic and always inside my own head).
I keep a journal in my bag with the hope that I’ll mimic other pretentious writers and jot notes down (and because it makes me sound cool), but my journal is empty. Sometimes, I don’t even want to be creating stories. I’d rather just live, as obnoxious as that sounds. And, let’s be real: when I get home, Netflix is always the priority.
So, as much as I value documenting my experiences, I am too lazy to actually perfect it. But at least I am writing something now, so I’ll do you a favor and get over myself.
Today is my last day in London, and I cannot believe that time passed so quickly! Studying abroad is like a long vacation: school is pretty easy, you legally can’t work, and you have zero responsibilities. Every once in awhile, I stop and pinch myself, for at the moment, life does not seem very real. Except for the fact that I’ve dipped into a good amount of my savings. That part is a little too real.
I’ve fully enjoyed a break from reality. I hate myself for using an inspirational quote here, but while here, the world really did feel like it was at my fingertips. I traveled way too much and explored more London neighborhoods than the actual locals probably have. While I am way too excited to reunite with my adorable, eco-friendly, mildly basic white Prius, I’ll definitely miss getting to hop on a bus or train to head to another part of town. I also walk a lot more here, so I’m going to have to find a new excuse for not working out (more gummy vitamins?).
I learned how to entertain myself here (YES, OTHER THAN WATCHING TV). As I get older, I’m starting to notice that I don’t need as many activity breaks as others, because I am absolutely crazy. I realized that sometimes, if you want to see the world, you can’t wait for people to follow you. While I still prefer the social comfort of friends, going exploring by yourself isn’t actually that bad.
I think I started to feel like an adult here. I cannot describe it (and it definitely sounds silly on virtual paper), but i just feel older. This feeling may suddenly change when I move into my family’s small apartment for the next month, so we shall see.
So London, I leave a piece of my heart with you. Don’t have too much fun without me.